The Summer of Us...

As my 'summer break' is coming to an end I've been overcome with emotion. My first emotion is gratitude. I have been so incredibly blessed to spend these last four months getting to know Elli and experiencing all the ups and downs of becoming a mother for the first time. I also feel grateful that Greg and I were able to spend Elli's first couple of months together as a family. The timing was really a God send (literally) and I'm so glad that Greg was off for the summer when Elli arrived. I can't imagine how people do it on their own...kudos to all of you! I also feel so overwhelmed by all the love and support I've received from our family and friends. We haven't wanted for anything these last few weeks - from gifts for Elli to dinners for Greg and I, people have been so generous and thoughtful.

As I figured, I am also feeling sad...almost 'bittersweet'. I'm excited to get back into the swing of things at work - I have a job that is satisfying and work with people who constantly make me laugh, so my sadness isn't about going back to work. I think it's more about missing out on what I've so enjoyed these last few months - I haven't missed anything when it comes to Elli. Pretty much every cry, every coo, every laugh, every everything I've been there for. When Elli was waking up from her first nap yesterday I went into the nursery to get her because she was fussing a bit. As soon as she saw me she scrunched up her eyes, laughed really loud and gave me the biggest smile. I am sad that I might miss some of those belly laughs. I have to remind myself often that I am lucky enough to have Friday's off and that it's my day to spoil and love on Elli...and that I am going to be a better mom and wife for working (I've learned that as much as I've enjoyed being home the reality is that I am not stay-at-home mom material). I am so lucky that two people who I adore more than anything are going to be loving on Elli in my absence. Our babysitters - Ehrin and Kelly - are terrific moms and amazing people. I feel so blessed that the schedule and timing is going to work out...definitely a God thing.

My other range of emotions include guilt, excitement, and about fifty other things that are hard to put into words. I am lucky that I have a lot of working mothers to look up to...both at work and in my personal life.

This has been the best summer of my life. I love being a mommy. I love that God blessed me with the child He did - Elli - who is such a good and sweet baby. More than anything I would say that this has been the summer of us...and such a blessed summer it was.